‘Endings’ are in the air … the end of another year will be with us soon! - We might be looking back over 2024, or looking ahead to 2025 - maybe with excitement or disease ... But do we think about, what actually ‘is’, when something is ending? When did ‘it’ start? How does ‘it’ exist?
"Buddha Shakyamuni said that all arising things are passing things. Whatever has a beginning has an end. Thoughts come into manifestation; they have a beginning, and so they will pass out of manifestation. They will vanish from your mind. Potential does not cease at death. As we move to the ending of this life, which for some people happens very suddenly and for other people much more slowly, the pattern of associations, of memories, of linked sensations and so on, out of which our current identity is constructed, collapses back into its own ground."*
Maybe we can explore the whole idea or concept of 'ending' and try to ge a more direct experience of what happens. Can we notice different modes, in which ‘endings’ seem to appear in our lives – like e.g.
we want to get something done, complete a task, get over an illness - so, how does this ending appear for us, when we want to see the end of something?
or we might wish that something was ‘done’, or we were ‘done with it’ – but it keeps on returning - what mood or feeling does the idea of it 'ending' bring with it then?
there might be an ending happening in our lives just now: of a home, a relationship, a job, or 2024. How does that appear in our lives - is it in our minds all the time? Does it come and go? How does it become a seemingly definite 'it'?
the same question might arise when we dread the end of something - anticipation or fear might be present at the idea of the end of 'it' - how does 'it appear then?
we can look at any other small endings that are happening daily - like finishing a meal, a conversation, a film we watched. How do we emerge out of it, after it, into something new?
How do these endings present themselves – are there any emotions around them, any urges, pressures? Any imaginations or hopes for what might lie beyond? Do we notice how the new 'me' forms and re-forms itself every moment? And again and again: do we replace the actual experience with the idea, the concept of 'this', that seemingly passes?
One other way we can be present in the moment is by letting each moment be complete it itself - whether it is a moment seemingly coming or leaving - that is all it is: just this. So, we can look at is the difference between something being a means to an end or an end in itself.
“If you have an agenda, then something becomes a means to an end. It ceases to be an end in itself. In European philosophy a big alarm bells starts to ring because, as Immanuel Kant pointed out, deep ethics, the real respect for other people is that they are an end in themselves. They are not a means to an end. But if you see people as an end in themselves and you open to them and appreciate their qualities, it's non-utilitarian, I am not utilising you, I'm not using you, I am appreciating you." *
This can be an interesting lense on how we perceive other people - but also ourselves, and this moment (whether filled with pleasure or pain. Is it a means to an end – or an end in itself : is it something where usefulness or our need to 'get somewhere' dominate, or can we taste and treasure this precious moment, unrepeatable, a part of life’s unfolding? It can be a moment of joy or sorrow - how is its taste?
Maybe we can use this ending of the year to explore what ends - and notice more deeply, if there is anything that ends.
After exploring endings, we will, on the 5th of January also explore beginnings! Join me for a day retreat on the 5th (no charge, but donations are welcome!) Dance in the new you-with-me! We will explore how the self always arises with the other, with the world - fresh every moment, focussing on directly experiencing the new self coming into being.
There will be three sessions on the day, to allow personal exploration in between. It will be light and playful - I hope you can join! You need to register on Zoom.
Check out some new offers coming up in 2025
*Both quotes James Low Geneva 2019
Image by Ryan Noeker, with thanks!
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