A Fresh Start...

On this day we might engage in a little reflection: how was this year? And what will the new year bring? All sorts of thoughts, wishes and ideas might come to mind about how we would like the new year to be; we might formulate those into good intentions, we want to do more of this and less of that.... And we might well have hopes for the future - for more peace and less suffering. - Yet the truth is, we don't know.

We have no idea how the new year might be - and really we don't even know what the next hour will bring. Living in this uncertainty can be uncomfortable, we might feel small and at the mercy of circumstances. That can be scary, especially in a time when powerful egos with access to great weapon are part of those circumstances.

Whatever way we find through what presents itself to us, and as us, the central question from the Buddhist perspective is 'am I here?' Am I present with and how this moment arises, and how I arise within this moment, or am I busy trying to control and shape events, so that they are more to my liking?

The three poisons are always trapping you in one way or another, imprisoning you and making your world really small. When you feel craving, you could be sitting at the edge of the Grand Canyon, and all you can see is this piece of chocolate cake that you’re craving. With aversion, you’re sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon, and all you can hear is the angry words you said to someone ten years ago. With ignorance, you’re sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon with a paper bag over your head. Each of the three poisons has the power to capture you so completely that you don’t even perceive what’s in front of you.*

Maybe we can relate to this experience, that all we notice is just what the three poisons throw up? While we miss the view of the Grand Canyon ... or (closer to home) the snow that whirled around Berlin this morning, or (even closer), the people milling and rushing in the supermarket or on a train. Can I just see the experience without the habitual overlay of 'I should/they should ...' etc. Can I be present here, emerging with this, rather than be engaged with my imagination of the place I want to reach? This is the heart of the Buddhist practice.

For the first days of the new year, while 'freshness' is on our minds, maybe we can engage in a little field trip. If possible, go for a walk in nature and pay attention to the emerging self for a little while, and how it changes from moment to moment. Let's attend to how we are not alone, and notice other contributors maybe – the light, the song of a bird, the sound of the crunching snow underfoot, another person passing. Notice how they might bring us the gift of a thought, a feeling, an idea. Let’s credit collaboration! We are not alone and responsible for working it all out – we are part of a web, a unique part, each one of us. This reflection might ease us out of being blown about between success & failure.

This exercise/ field trip can be a light and playful practice and works just as well in a supermarket: just notice - see, hear, smell, engage with what opens around. It loosens our hold of identification, the sense of 'I' that arises, and only stays momentarily, even if we grasp at it. We can maybe also notice the inner or physical movement that being under the influence of the three poisons brings about. Is there is a reaching forward, an extending, a straining for some imagined experience? Or a retreating from what offers itself in this moment, a pulling back, creating an imagined distance? Maybe, if we notice these on a psycho-physical level, we can just find a way to release, to settle back into here, into the ease of just being a part of what is going on.

This settling can reveal itself as a place of rest & ease: not needing to worry about who will arise as ‘me’, if it is ok, the ‘right me’. We can rest in the experience that something will be called forth, collaborated by inner and outer. We can just be present with whatever unique gesture we find ourselves making.

I want to thank you for reading these reflections over this year, and I wish you and all of us many occasions in the new year where we remember that being fresh and collaborating with circumstances will allow us all to be a full, integrated part of an evolving story.

As an impulse to meet the new year with freshness, I would like to invite you to join me on the 4th of January called A new dance of self & world. We will meet for a day retreat (over 3 sessions) - there is no charge, but donations are welcome. We will explore how the self always arises with the other, with the world - fresh every moment, focusing on directly experiencing the new self coming into being.

In and in between the three sessions on the day we will engage in personal exploration on how we can be fresh every moment. It will be light and playful - I hope you come (it is possible to join for parts of the day, if you cannot make all of the sessions). To join, please register on Zoom beforehand.

Check out some new offers coming up in 2025, including retreats and weekend events or here for the programme. Sign up for the newsletter here.

*Pema Chödrön: Comfortable with Uncertainty, 105-106

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